Getting a second date in today’s day in age can be impossible. A one night tinder date usually only lasts one night. Don’t believe the dating app ads: in the 21st century world of dating, few things are as simple as swiping right. It’s pretty easy (almost too easy) to present yourself in the best light from behind the screen. However, when the time comes to actually meet your tinder squeeze in person, without filters and autocorrect to save your ass, it’s time to rely on YOU, not technology to make a good impression. Below are five ways you can really screw up a first date, probably without even knowing it. Write them on your inner thigh, staple them to the back of your menu-or just memorize the crap out of these five “don’t you dare-not’s.” Whatever it takes to avoid being the ultimate d-bag on even the most nerve-wracking of first dates.
1. Trying to Little or Too Hard
Balance is everything. Try too hard and you’ll look desperate. Don’t try hard enough and you’ll look like a jerk. Be yourself. Don’t photoshop your personality. Making someone laugh is always a powerful icebreaker-but if humor isn’t natural to you, don’t force it. That’s trying too hard. Take a breath, roll your shoulders back, and be who you really are-without losing sight of basic social laws.
2. Talking About Yourself in Excess
Do this one time and you can guarantee you won’t be getting a second date. Remember boys and girls: You can’t spell “narcissism” without an “I.” Obviously, you’re going to have to talk about yourself some on a first date, duh. These people want to know what (or who) they’re getting into. So, if you’re the type to talk about yourself in well, excess (though the ever ironic trouble is that most people who are this way don’t know it) just do your date a favor and STFU. If you feel yourself going off on a tangent about the brilliance of your first ballet recital, revert the subject back to the other side…NOW!
3. Talking About Your Ex…At All!
It’s sad that this one has to be so often reminded to first daters. Our theory is that talking about our exes, especially the long-term ones, can be so second nature-especially if it’s a freshly closed relationship. It’s vital to remember that nobody wants to hear about your ex….especially your date. Not only does even the slightest mention of your ex on a first date deliver the message that you’re still hung up on him or her…your date does not care that they did yoga at the studio across from the restaurant they chose. Like, seriously. Nobody cares.
4. Being Rude to Waitstaff
This one is the ultimate dealbreaker for so many. I can’t tell you how many date stories we’ve heard that went south the moment someone was nasty to the waiter or waitress. The truth is that most people have spent time in some sort of customer service related job-whether its serving food or ringing up sweaters. So, when you treat your waiter like dirt, it can really and rightfully tick off people that have been in your victim’s shoes.
5. Using A Misleading Profile Picture
If you neglect this rule, please be prepared of the ego-bruising consequences. If you’re profile picture is from ten years (or pounds) ago, be prepared for instant rejection. It may seem rude that someone would beeline for the exit door upon seeing that you look nothing like your picture, but remember: you’re the one that lied. There’s nothing wrong with using a flattering profile picture, but don’t venture on a misleading one. You’re just hurting yourself (and your ego) in the long run.
Avoid doing any of these things and your chances of getting that second date will be much higher. TRUST me, take it from an expert.